Feeling Trapped

I wish I were stronger.

It's just hard right now.

Badgers Badgers Badgers

Well here is the 2nd go around on this update thing. Yesterday I was just so exhausted from lugging around two 10 pounders around in their car seats and not getting a good night's rest.

I'm working hard on trying to get myself excited about this MSPI diet thing. I found two great blogs where other moms have posted recipes without soy, dairy and even options for other food allergy mommas. Right now I'm making a list of Main Meals, Breakfast, Snacks... etc that I can make. Then I'm making up next weeks meals so that I can go into the grocery store with my list, grab exactly what I need and then work on making those meals on Sunday when Tom is home to help me with the kiddos. At Walmart we found some containers that Ziploc makes with separate compartments where I can put together whole meals and then put them in the freezer if there is something we like!

The positive outlook: We will be eating hardly any processed and/or junk foods.
The negative outlook: I have to be very careful that I eat enough calories to provide enough milk for the girls and so that I don't lose too much weight myself ,AND the foods that I buy will be more expensive and harder to find.

Kiley found her fist the other day :o) She was sucking away on it and had this excited look on her face that screamed "Look what I can do mom!!" They were both just completely exhausted from all of our adventures yesterday. We tried the Neocate formula bottle last night. Kiley fell asleep before she could get her chance at it and Kara only drank an ounce. They aren't as happy with the Dr. Brown bottles as they were with the Soothie ones (The Soothies are shaped like their pacifiers). I hate to throw away the extra formula because the cans cost 50 dollars a piece. Dr. D wrote me prescriptions for each girl so that if we decide to move them onto the formula our insurance will help pay for the special stuff. We would be in trouble if we had to pay for it ourselves. It could cost 200 dollars a month per girl! (How do people do it?)

I even managed to get their Prevacid down into them this morning... of course it's a tricky timing issue. They need to take it on empty stomachs, and not eat 30 minuets after they take the medication. Kiley & Kara eat every hour to 2 hours usually so finding that time gap in the morning is hard. We need to give them the Prevacid twice a day. It could take up to two weeks before we see any real results with it either. *sigh*

They are both a little more fussy today, perhaps they are getting back at me for messing up their schedules yesterday. Hopefully they won't be fussy all day! I need to get some work done around here. I have homework that is due tomorrow, baptism invites to send out, cleaning to do... plus I need to get next week's food schedule done. Phew!

Well I suppose I should get a few things done while Abby is napping. Grandma Renae brought Feebee home and I need to give her a bath and a slight trim. I think Abby will enjoy having her home to play with. If she gets to be too much she might go back to the farm again... but we'll see. Right now she is laying on a rug by the door and is being good. At least we have a backyard fence!

Cute Abby Story:  Abby has a little pink pig that walks, snorts and wags it's tail. She was playing with it like it was her best friend today. Calling to it "Here piggy piggy!" and carrying it around with her all over the house. She probably played with it for 20 minuets! (which for Abby is a loooong time)

And for some strange reason she always wants me to play this song for her... I caught a few of her dance moves... she also sings to it but wouldn't do it while I had the camera on her.

GI Appointment

Well I just got back from the GI specialist that Abby had seen when she was younger. The girls both passed their Video Swallow Studies (VSS). I'm SOOO happy with this! The Upper GI study showed reflux, which I knew it would. The girls are both 21 inches and 10lbs!! Kiley was 3 ounces heavier at 10lb 5oz. So they are growing great and we have no issues with that.

Dr. D thinks that the coughing and choking is stemming from the girls trying to drink the milk down, the reflux coming up and trying to breathe. He said that otherwise they should be ok. We are going to start them on Prevacid twice daily to see if we can cut down on the acid coming up into their throats. He also wants them on a vitamin supplement.

Annnnd.... the icky part. I need to start on the MSPI (Milk, Soy, Protein Intolerance) diet. ICK. To give you an idea of what I need to look for on labels....

Ingredients that mean contains soy:

• hydrolyzed soy protein
• miso
• shoyo sauce
• soy flour
• soy grits
• soy nuts
• soy milk
• soy sprouts
• soy protein concentrate
• soy protein isolate
• soy sauce
• tempeh
• textured vegetable protein (TVP)
• tofu
• soy lecithin
• soy oil

Other possible sources of soy or soy products:

• flavorings
• hydrolyzed plant protein
• hydrolyzed vegetable protein
• natural flavoring
• vegetable broth
• vegetable gum
• vegetable starch

(most babies will not react to soy oil or soy lecithin, but the very sensitive baby may still react)

Ingredients that mean contains dairy:

• Acidophilus Milk
• Ammonium Caseinate
• Butter
• Butter Fat
• Butter Oil
• Butter Solids
• Buttermilk
• Buttermilk Powder
• Calcium Caseinate
• Casein
• Caseinate (in general)
• Cheese (All animal-based)
• Condensed Milk
• Cottage Cheese
• Cream
• Curds
• Custard
• Delactosed Whey
• Demineralized Whey
• Dry Milk Powder
• Dry Milk Solids
• Evaporated Milk

• Ghee
• Goat Milk
• Half & Half
• Hydrolyzed Casein
• Hydrolyzed Milk Protein
• Iron Caseinate
• Lactalbumin
• Lactoferrin
• Lactoglobulin
• Lactose
• Lactulose
• Low-Fat Milk
• Magnesium Caseinate
• Malted Milk
• Milk
• Milk Derivative
• Milk Fat
• Milk Powder
• Milk Protein
• Milk Solids
• Natural Butter Flavor

• Nonfat Milk
• Nougat
• Paneer
• Potassium Caseinate
• Pudding
• Recaldent
• Rennet Casein
• Skim Milk
• Sodium Caseinate
• Sour Cream
• Sour Milk Solids
• Sweetened Condensed Milk
• Sweet Whey
• Whey
• Whey Powder
• Whey Protein Concentrate
• Whey Protein Hydrolysate
• Whipped Cream
• Whipped Topping
• Whole Milk
• Yogurt
• Zinc Caseinate

Is that enough??? Can you see why shopping might be a little exhausting? I'm going to try it for two months and see if it works. This time I'm going to be better prepared though. I'll look some good MSPI diet meals that I can make, devote one day where I will make a bunch of food and then freeze them. This way it will be taken care of and I won't need to stress about it or devote a bunch of time to the diet. I'm not going to start today, I'll probably start this weekend on Sunday so that I can start at the beginning of the week.

Well I have to go... I'll write more on this when I have a little more time.... But thats the update for now

Handprints

Hello all. I found a few moments to blog while I'm feeding Kiley (there just isn't a whole lot else to do when you're feeding babies). We finally made it home from my parent's house. We actually drove down Sunday afternoon to watch the Vikings game (heart sigh) and got snowed in. There was no warning at all about how awful the conditions were going to get. 1-3 inches of snow sure became a headache! Whiteout conditions and drifting were the real problems. Our snow drifts had sank a little but are now nice and tall again....

Still no Jeep. :( I hope we can get that back this week so that I'm not confined to these four walls. Kiley & Kara do have doctor's appointments tomorrow and the way things are going I'm really really glad we are going in. To give you an idea of what I've done today...

4am-7am: off and on feeding of Kiley, Kara, Kiley, Kara...
8am- present:  Ate breakfast, changed Kiley, changed Kara, came home... fed Kiley, fed Kara, fed Abby, fed Kiley (again), put in a roast for supper,  changed Kiley, changed Kara, changed Abby, put clothes on Abby, put new clothes on Kara, fed Abby lunch, fed Kara, fed Kiley, put Abby down for a nap, fed Kara, did homework, took a shower, ate lunch of spagettios, put a load of laundry in the wash,  feeding Kiley now... Kara is screaming again...

And I wonder why I'm so exhausted... It's 2 o'clock right now and that is just a sample of what I've done this morning. Abby is still sleeping thankfully which allowed me to get a little more homework done and a load of laundry. The shower helped... is it bad the coffee pot is calling me again?

Tom's mom is coming up to watch Abby tomorrow morning when I go to my doctor's appointment. Abby will really enjoy having another person to entertain and I will love having the extra help. An extra pair of hands is always a huge help.

Well I need to finish up some things before my break is completely over. I leave you with this poem that I try to remember as I go throughout the day...

My Handprints
 
Sometimes I might upset you
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
on furniture and walls.
 
But everyday I grow a bit
And soon I'll be so tall
That all those little fingerprints
Will be so hard to recall.
 
So here's a special handprint
Just so that you can say
This is how my fingers looked
When I placed them here today

Picture Perfect

It was still a lot of fun... even if it didn't last as long as we might have hoped...

I wanted to write more but the girls might actually be going to sleep... and I'm running incredibly low on sleep right now. So for now goodnight... (and Abby still makes a cute Viking fan)