Mulberries and Lost Wind

I had one of THOSE nights... no, not a screaming pull your hair out night... but a night where you feel SO incredibly at peace with your life.


I picked up the kiddos from my mom's place and we drove home. I made leftover brisket and green beans. In Abby's opinion it was "the best supper that I never ate!" Kiley and Kara enjoyed it as well. It was a little hairy, (no not the food)... Chris was just upset while I was trying to keep food on three hungry little girls' plates.

(Kiley)

After they ate we watched a cartoon or two while I fed Chris. Abby put on a show... and somehow this show meant all the girls needed to get dressed up. Kiley at one point had on 2 dresses, a pair of panda pajama pants and a tank top. Abby had on 2 dresses and a pair of jeans. Kara had the most 'normal' outfit with a dress and pair of backwards capris...

We decided to go on a walk, Chris rode in the yellow stroller and Kiley sat next to them. It was a BEAUTIFUL night and the girls enjoyed chit chatting as we walked our way to the park. We spent some time on the monkey bars and going down slides. Abby can now pump her own swing! We have been working on this for weeks and weeks... and now she can finally start herself and get going. I'm so proud.


We decided later it was time to go home and the girls followed me over to a mulberry tree... Oh they take me back to my childhood. I had to resist the urge to eat them instead of giving them to the girls. They really liked them as well and loved searching them out. Kiley didn't want to leave. Abby saved a pile of them for Daddy for his birthday but ate them after I told her that he didnt like them. It was so sweet of her to think of him. Kiley and Kara picked flowers for him but they didn't make it home either....


I even got in some sweet baby talk with Chris tonight...


I love being a mom.

Heart-ache

"What if the aching of this life..."

Aching... yes that's what it is. My heart is aching. One day at a time, I hope for a step closer to some stability, some conclusion to the struggles we have been dealing with. And yet gently the Lord is leading us through this time. At times I want to drop to my knees like a frustrated, weary toddler and cry out that I'm too tired. But I see those around me that are struggling with burdens heavier than my own, and I get up and we move on.

Fear is a difficult thing to abandon completely.

Our childcare situation is a mess... and would be an even larger mess if I didn't have two amazing mother figures in my life that have stepped up to the plate and helped us out. I'm trying desperately to remedy the situation but it's not an easy spot to be in. It might mean leaving my job... but we'll see.

Chris's next appointment is a week from today. I'm very ready for this next report. I know that he is gaining well, I know his murmur is still there... so I'm just waiting to see...

Abby, her cousin and I chased fireflies around my inlaw's farm the other night. Seeing how excited she was about having one land on her hand... a memory I will forever cherish. I find myself wishing I had photos of things like that... but I know I'll remember it if I jot it down here.

Kiley and Kara are extremely sweet... and brutal to each other. We are going through quite the biting phase, mostly directed at each other. It's interesting. They are struggling with this constant change as well... each in their own way. I wish I could help them through this... and I do my best to. But it's hard.

Tom had a sleep study done last night, I"m hoping we get the results soon so that we can hopefully help him feel more rested during the day.

Well I need more snuggle time with my baby... time to wake him up.