7.1 kg ... oh sorry, I'm used to working in kilos at work. It works out to around 15.6 lbs. Two weeks ago he was around 16.3 lbs. (He almost lost a pound) No, it doesn't look like a lot when you write it like that. But he should be closer to 17 lbs by now, not 15 if we were following the growth curve.
My hopes, this is an acute deal. That being sick so much has finally just worn him out a little. He missed mommy and just lost a little weight.
The scary thing that sits in the back of my mind, this little voice whispering... this is heart failure... that we are headed towards surgery. That this isn't just a fluke thing.
I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst. It makes me feel sick, it makes me feel overwhelmed and very tired. It makes me want to hold onto him tight and shove every bit of food down his throat I can haha. But tomorrow will still come, We will go on like yesterday and the day before... we will be constantly aware of Chris's heart, secretly trying not to remember that darn little hole is still there, wishing it would close itself up and let us move on. This is a journey, not always what we expected or hoped for... but we will keep trusting, remembering that even if that little hole doesn't heal, He has been faithful.
So if you are reading this, and don't mind saying up a prayer for us, for Chris. That his weight will improve next week. That this is a fluke weight, or an off day, or week or weeks. That next week will be better. That we won't go crazy waiting.
Because even just knowing that Dr Arain sent off his information to the surgeon, just in case, that sending makes me feel a lot more nervous.... and now that I've written that all out. I won't worry about it tonight. God is still faithful.
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I also took Kiley to the doctor today. Her chronic cough of (like 3 months) makes our pediatrician think that she has RAD or Ashtma. We are going to try a burst of steroids to see if she improves. I'm supposed to call him next week to let him know how things go. We'll decide from there whether we give her allergy medication or start her on an inhaler as well. Never dull around here.
Kara was so sweet in the doctor's office. She read books to Chris on the floor while Kiley sat on my lap for the exam. They were all so good going into the doctor's office.
Abby is loving school. She even gave me a little dirty look when I came to pick her up early haha. She told me last night that I was her best friend, that she loves me and that she likes how I make cookies with her and read books to her. I wanted to make sure I wrote that down, because there are no words to express how much I loved hearing that.
I love you Abby, I love you Kiley, I love you Kara, I love you Christopher... and I love your Daddy too.
