Vday + One

I was so tired I didn't get a chance to post this last night but I wanted to make sure that I documented it. :o) We had decided a few weeks ago that we weren't going to do anything for Valentine's Day... or so I thought. Money is a little more tight right now and we don't have anyone to babysit... plus I had to work during the day and he had to work at night.

So Valentine's Day came along and I went about my busy self, not really paying attention. My doctor came out and told me that there was someone waiting out front for me. I went out to the front lobby and there was a Barbershop Quartet. They sang to me and gave me a rose. It was shocking and wonderful.

We gave each of the girls a little Valentine M&M fan... and Abby had her Valentine's Day party at school. It sounds like they all had a pretty good time.

I'm glad today is the last day that Tom has to work tonight. It is exhausting running things alone. I had an appointment this morning and it looks like our little stinker is still breech... now we wait until Monday to find out if he still is, then we talk other options.

Greeeeeeeeeat.

Hope he flips on his own! I've been antsy all day. I can hardly stand being at work and I just feel out of sorts. Hope that Monday gets here soon....

There and Back

I have a confession to make... I'm not a perfect mom.

And in the midst the crazy exhaustion I'm feeling, the pregnancy hormones and stress from work... I feel like I should still be able to come home and be the mommy I want to be.

And it's one of the worst feelings to know that I can't. Somehow I need to let go of the rosey perfect picture of what I want to be as a mom, that perfectionist ideal that no one can live up to and just be mom. And the tears that I cry are the evidence that it's something I have a hard time doing.

I'm exhausted. My feet are cankles, I feel more unattractive right now then I have probably felt since I was 13. I can hardly sit on the floor to play with my girls because the cramping in my legs or abdomen will get so bad. T-shirts and sweatpants are about the only things I feel remotely comfortable in because the rest of my clothes doesn't fit. I've completely given up on trying to find the time to get my hair cut or permed or whatever. Aka I'm miserably trying to bask in the last few days/weeks of this pregnancy... because I know I will miss carrying him around with me.

And of course bedtime was a disaster again, Abby has been driving me a little crazy with her random screaming just when the girls are settling down, Kiley needs to get out of bed 20 times to give me a hug. Kara likes to get involved in schemes with Abby or keep her going on the path of madness. I sit on a little pink beanbag for an hour telling them to lay down, stop spitting, stay in your bed, stop bouncing...

And I get upset.

And I hate getting upset. Because they find it funny. Which makes me more angry.

My girls fell asleep tonight and I was tired of giving them hugs. I didn't want to kiss their 'owies' that they got by trying to crawl out of bed for the 100th time. I didn't want to hear their 'stories'. In fact they only fell asleep after I told them that I was crying.

Then I wrapped Abby's Valentine's Day box for preschool without her... and I cried again.

Now I wish I could have been more patient, because more then anything I miss them during the day. I miss being Mommy, (or Mimi as Kara calls me)

I believe it's just time to get a little sleep. Tomorrow is after all a new day. I love my girls with all my heart, beyond even words. And tomorrow I'll get back up, dust myself off and try again... and perhaps sneak in a little more snuggle time and that extra hug... even if it means I need to hear about the birthday party, cake and decorations for the next 3 months... 

Sometimes we all need a simple reminder that we can't do things on our own. I'm thankful that I don't have to. And please Lord grant me the confidence, courage, patience, serenity to be the mother you've called me to be... 

"They know me in a way no one ever has; They open me to things I never knew existed. They drive me to insanity and push me to my depths. They are the beat of my heart, the pulse of my vein and the energy in my soul. They are my kids."

Bliss

Love love love Saturdays. They mean sleeping in (till 7), lounging around on the couch, catching up on projects. Even the knowledge that the coffee creamer has run dry... cannot damper my spirits today. I'm in with the girls waiting for the eldest to fall asleep. I guess I wore the other two out, they were down in about 15 minutes. We cleaned up around the house this morning and Tom and I worked on the nursery again (with some help from the girls)


I really think it is coming along nicely. Starting to get that nesting feeling into overdrive... can you tell? lol

Kara told me this morning that she had a baby in her tummy too. She lifted up her shirt and stuck out her tummy. It was pretty cute. We are talking more and more about it with them lately. That Mommy and Daddy will go to the hospital and either grandma or maybe Tiffany will come play with them when we leave. Thus Abby has been asking almost every day if we are going to leave soon. Pretty sure it's not because she's excited about the baby lol!

Last night we went up to my grandma's house and had a wonderful time. I told the girls we could go if they stayed awake in the car. So I dressed all three in the REALLY cute pajamas that I picked up from Kohls for 5 bucks (80% off sale... they had been 30+) and threw in a new Dora DVD and off we went.

And they all stayed awake! Both on the way there and back. They had a good time and it was so wonderful to get out and talk with other adults and let them play with new toys. My grandma really seemed to enjoy having us stop by too. OF COURSE it was the coldest night of the week... but we survived ;)

I think after Abby takes a nap the two of us will go up and do some shopping. This mom still has a few things I'd like to get ready before baby comes!

Let's Draw :)

So as promised, without further ado... Abby's artwork...

(I believe this is a drawing of me, she commented that I have really long hair)

(This is one of her "story" drawings, where she starts with one thing and tells a story as she draws. I tried to outline things a little closer so that you could see what the characters are. Note Rapunzel's very long hair (and crown...) They are in the tower, interesting perspective on the drawing. I enjoy Pascal myself...)

(Pizza... yes it is pink)

(This is one of her 'Full body" drawings ((Sorry no idea what the yellow thing is, that was an addition tonight)) Note that the drawing has eyes, nose, mouth, hair, arms, sleeves for the dress, legs and fingers and toes. Sorry I love child development and from what little I know this is a little beyond what kids her age typically are drawing. Would be curious to see what others think. I of course am a little biased and think it is awesome if not a little creepy :o)

Here is the scoring for the "Draw a Person Test" A real developmental Test for children:

One Point Assigned per Feature:
Head present	Fingers present
Neck present	Correct number of fingers shown
Neck, two dimensions	Opposition of thumb shown
Eyes present	(must include fingers)
Eye detail: Brows or lashes	Hands present
Nose present	Arms present
Nose, two dimensions	Arms at side or engaged in activity
(not round ball)	Feet: any indication
Mouth present	Attachment of arms to legs I
Lips, two dimensions	(to trunk or anywhere)
Both nose and lips in two	Attachment of arms and legs II
dimensions	(at correct point on trunk)
Both chin and forehead shown	Trunk present
Bridge of nose (straight to eyes;	Trunk in proportion, 2 dimensions
narrower than base)	(if greater than breadth)
Hair I (any scribble)	Clothing I (anything)
Hair II (more detail)	Clothing II (two articles of clothing)
Ears present
Mental Age (yr)	Points Scored by Boys	Points Scored by Girls
3	4	5
4	7	7
5	11	11
6	13	14
7	16	17
8	18	20

Where do you think she scores?

I'll let you know what I come up with later ;)

It's just that kind of night

Just finished getting the girls down to bed. Phew they wore me out tonight. I knew we were in for trouble when Tom picked me up at work and they were all asleep in the car. One thing you should know about my girls; as hard as they are to get asleep... is as hard as it is to get them awake after they have gone to sleep. I remember once I had Abby standing straight up and she was still sleeping.

There just isn't much you can do to get them to stay awake. Their eyes roll back in their head and they are OUT.

So we did bedtime a little later tonight. When we made it home the girls were all crying and weepy. Nothing I did seemed to help. I was stressed out, needed to use the bathroom and they were all hanging on me. So I tactfully shut and locked the door... and then stayed in there. They were all crying by the door, little fingers peeking under the doorframe. I told them I wasn't coming out until they all stopped crying.

It actually worked.

So then we had supper, watched a cartoon, I gave them baths and we colored. I forced... yes forced Kara and Kiley to read a book. Not sure who was more upset by the time we finished that. I miss having a kid that actually WANTED to sit and read a book. Abby continued to color. Wow she has really gotten better. I'll take a few pictures of her drawings in the next post where I can feature her artwork. :o)

Baby is giving me crazy heartburn lately with his head pressed so hard against my stomach. Time to get some sleep!

Nesting

Last Night:

"My three little wild children were running around the house, I asked Abby why they all had their clothes off... she looked at me very seriously and said "We're scavengers!" Would love to know where she got that..."



Super Bowl Sunday; Tom made me laugh this morning when he told me that if my water broke before the game was over I would "have to hold it"

Haha, good luck with that. Don't worry Tom, I think baby boy is staying put a little longer!

Sposies vs Cloth?

To Cloth or not to Cloth... perhaps taking the plunge down the dark and dirty road of diapers once again. Diapering two twin princesses for the last two years and seeing the sheer awesomeness of multiple bags of diapers has made me realize how much I hate them. Especially now that we are PAYING someone to take the dirty diapers away, and then burning the rest of our trash at my parent's place... seems silly.

So my top reasons for attempting:
1) Disposable Diapers (Sposies) take like 500 years to break down... that means a lot of diapers sitting around. They don't burn, I could probably build a fire proof wall with them... seriously....
2) Kids in cloth potty train faster because they can FEEL when they are wet, yes you change them more but isn't that the point? To change them when they are dirty?
3) These aren't your Mom's cloth diapers... they have really caught up to modern technology...
4) I'm pretty sure that if I don't go overboard on buying fashionable prints, I can save a lot of money.

So what does a cloth diaper look like these days? Feast your eyes on this:

These are what are called "Pocket Diapers"  The ones I want actually have a snap system so there is more security... but they make many many varieties of the above diaper. I've been doing my research, checking into brands and talking with other moms. Once baby boy is here I will probably wait a few weeks before even trying cloth diapers, try to get past the newborn stage of diapers which = 100's of diapers.

I probably will use Sposies at night, unless he is like the rest of my girls and is up every hour. Then I suppose it doesn't matter.

No idea if I should look into getting prefolds or fitted or... who knows what else. But I will check into a few, see if I can figure this out... see if I FEEL like doing it. Tom already agreed that it is worth a shot, the laundry isn't much more than what we are already doing and frankly... at least we wouldn't have to fold those (haha!)

Wish me luck! Would love to hear anyone else's thoughts on this.

Moo!

I love my little camera buddy... we were looking at Grandpa's cows.

"Mommy! Grandpa's cows! Hi cows!"

Countdown!

Here comes the countdown, we had a little trip into town and I picked up a few more things. I'm also working on going through the closet in what was Abbys room and will now be the nursery. I was quite thrilled with my purchases because I remembered at the last minute that I had a bunch of reward coupons so I managed to get everything 50% off. (hurray!)

Putting together a nursery however means.... sorting clothes... lots and lots of clothes. I sorted out a few things for baby boy that were either neutral or sports team apparel. Plus a few of the new outfits that I picked up.

Whew! Just one more tote to go through now! Hope there isn't another girl in our future or I've seriously downsized lol. All of the girls are napping and Tom is napping on their floor at the moment. I should get back to work but it's nice to have a coffee break.

I let the girls use their Christmas money from their Great Grandma today, here is a rundown of the purchase:

Abby: Two Barbies on sale (10 dollars each)
Kiley: One princess dress (19 dollars- she is obsessed)
Kara: One flashlight (2 dollars)

Kara has a green yucky nose so chances are... she just wasn't all that interested. She actually liked this goofy little fidget thing but they wanted 25 dollars for it and I didn't think it would survive for long. It sounds like tonight we will have company, it will be fun for the girls to see our friends again.

Single Parenting... sorta...

For the next two weeks Tom and I are trading off on single parenting. Interesting adventure and a little lonely at the same time. I work from 7, 7:30am-ish-5pm(ish)... then Tom brings up the kids and we switch. I take the kids home and he heads to work from 5:30pm-10:00pm. On the plus side, no childcare issues because we are able to trade off, down side... We really see very little of each other.

Thankfully it's just for a few more weeks.

I went in for an ultrasound on Monday and our newest little guy is measuring right around 4 pounds and is in the 30th percentile. I have one more ultrasound next week because I'm part of a research study with him (yay free ultrasound!)

(Awww!)

The sleeping is still quite frustrating, we are averaging 1.5-2.5 hours a night just sitting in their room and putting them to bed. I can hardly stand it sometimes because that eats up at least half of the night that I'm home. Not to mention it's still a lot of up down up down up down... and I'm already exhausted at that point. I wish we could eliminate naps but the girls have started falling asleep on the way home from work, so don't think thats an option (and it certainly doesn't help bedtime)

(Kara)

Guess we'll keep trying and I'll try to find more to do online when I have to sit in there. Hurray...

The girls are now all sleeping in the same room together. I wish that we could let them have their own rooms but we are officially out of space. Abby is sleeping on the top bunk and Kiley and Kara take turns sleeping either in her old bed or on the bottom bunk. They haven't decided which one they want to sleep in yet so seem to switch. And this of course means I've started (or Tom has) in preparing the nursery for when boy comes. I wanted a space that I could put him in the swing and have him be safe. I just didn't want to have to worry about the girls harassing him all the time. It is kinda fun to see the crib go up again... and exciting that it is getting closer.

Phew Abby is stinky (sorry for the side note!)

Miss Abby has been waking up every morning around 3 am SCREAMING. She seems to have nightmares about me being gone. She also tends to wake up at 6-6:30am and wake up the twins so that they watch cartoons together (which means they come to find us) Of course this is when I try to get ready for work... makes that a little hard!

Abby has a pajama party at preschool tomorrow... and they are going to wear pajamas and eat popcorn with their pillows. Tom and I met with her teacher the other day and it went really well. The teacher appreciated us filling her in about how to best help Abby and so far it is helping quite a bit. They are working on giving her more time to transition, working with her on over stimulating times and now are writing how her days go in her special notebook. This really helps us at home... because thats usually when we deal most with it. Glad we found a teacher that is so willing to step in and help Abby learn! She is really picking up things fast :o)

Looking forward to a quieter weekend coming up...