Tomorrow we go in bright and early to see their pediatrician. I have mixed feelings about it. I go back and forth on deciding how much to say, what to say... or really if I should just leave it alone all together and handle things on my own. There are days and moments when I think to myself that there is no way I can do this alone... and other times when I feel like things are ok and there is no use stirring up a bunch of doctor's appointments and tests and meds and the headache that goes along with all of that... I'll try and report what happens tomorrow.
Church today was very interesting. We slept in a little (because we were all exhausted) and when I say sleep in I mean 8am. Tom took a shower while I got both Kiley & Kara changed and dressed. I worked so hard at finding cute outfits to put them in (I like to show them off when I get a chance!) Tom got Abby ready while I got dressed (no time for a shower... sad) As we were getting ready to go... Abby is trying her hardest to take off all of her clothes while Tom is trying to get Kara into the carseat and somehow pursuade Abs to keep her clothes on. I grab Kiley... who has had a blowout in the last 5 minuets and now needs to be completely changed. I get her changed, Abby has at least a shirt and pants on... Tom announces that Kara has just managed to puke all over the inside of the carseat... It is now 19 minuets before church STARTS.
Somehow we manage to get all three kids loaded into the car, I stuff a few toys into the diaper bag, another spare outfit and some snacks for Abby. I leave the house without breakfast or my morning coffee ... it was just one of those mornings.
The drive to church wasn't much better. The fog was so thick it was like a blanket of white had been tucked around us. Things went pretty well until a small grey car pulled out in front of us with NO lights on... and driving at a slow speed of 30-40 mph. We very nearly avoided rear ending them. Thankfully Tom saw them quickly and avoided hitting them. I will never understand why people don't have their lights on in the fog!
Naptime & Bedtime has gotten a little difficult for Abby lately. She breaks my heart when she sobs for me when I leave her in her crib. I try to give her plenty of hugs and kisses and cuddles... telling her I love her and that I will see her in the morning. But hearing her cry out for me makes me want to run back and tell her that everything is ok and that I will never leave her. In all honesty I love my Abby so very very much... but there aren't many moments where I feel the need to 'rush to her rescue.' Perhaps it is because she is so strong (and strong willed) that she is off on her own and doesn't need me. This new 'stage' is confusing to me because the times where she wants me so badly are increasing.... while my time and arms are decreasing...
It's especially hard now that Kiley & Kara are getting more alert. I want to be able to carry them with me and play with them too. I can't wait until Abby can play with her sisters and not 'hurt them'. Where she doesn't have to be so careful with them.
Well Kiley & Kara are asleep... time for me to go to bed. I'm completely exhausted.
Abby story: We were driving in the car today and Abby was reading a book about these counting sheep. One of the sheep was dancing and had it's arms out in a familiar pose. Abby sees it and yells "TOUCHDOWN!"
Did I mention she loves football? :)
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