Soggy

We are day three into daycare. I bump into quite a few people who ask how it is going or how I'm doing... usually I reply with a "good" or an "ok"... mostly because I don't want to tell them that if I say more I will probably end up in a pool of soggy mom sadness... or that I feel the worst kind of homesickness without them, that during lunch I sit in a little room to pump and I can hardly force myself to eat because I feel so sick from being away from my babies.

But of course I eat because if I lose the ability to feed Chris... I will probably go insane and quit my job and become an extreme coupon-er... (i don't know how to spell that)

Aka... I love my job, I hate being away from my kids. Can I just sneak Chris under my desk? I think I would at least be able to stop crying every night before bed.

Kara was really acting up right before bedtime... just screaming and trying to get out of her bed. I gave her a hug, put her back in bed... same reaction. Finally I asked her if she was sad that mommy was away. She told me "yes...." So I prayed that Jesus would be with Abby, Kiley, Kara & Christopher while mommy and daddy are away. That He would help them not be too sad. Behavior stopped. I cried quietly while they fell asleep and just sat with them awhile after.

So there you have it... I am a soggy little mess right now. I'm homesick for my kids, I miss them terribly.

Trusting... trusting that God has a plan for us in all of this, trusting my most precious cargo to someone else... trusting and praying and hoping that I can come back home again soon...