Night Time Musings

What a whirlwind of a week it has been. I'm sitting in the recliner holding Kara and avoiding more homework that feels like it is just piling up. I did manage to complete two of my quizzes tonight, one amidst Kara's crazy screams... but I have one quiz due tomorrow, an assignment from last week due Friday, a test in another class... and a few discussion topics, readings and other things to do....

Where do I find the time... I ask myself that a lot. I'm just trying to survive this crazy semester... just trying to get through it.

On another positive note... I've found one more thing to do other than my homework. Photography. It is something that I've been dabbling in for awhile and I'm so excited to be getting more involved in it. A few people have asked me to do photos for them and I'm so excited by this! You may wonder if I'm crazy for taking up 'one more thing.' But it is something I need... it is a stress reliever, it makes me happy and I really just enjoy it. In the end if I 'fail' at this I will at least gain many beautiful pictures of my girls.

So what have we been up to... We drove down to Tom's parent's place this weekend and had a wonderful time visiting. I don't believe we had been down there since Christmas! Abby loved seeing Grandma and Grandpa D and playing with them. She actually does very well down there now and while she leaves many little 'reminders' of her being there... at least she hasn't destroyed their house completely! It is always fun to go down there. It was a nice change of scenery and just felt like a mini 'vacation' (which we could all use!)

While we were at church she hurt her arm and this made having fun a little harder. We had it looked at by the doctor today when she got her stitches out and the Dr thought it was 'nursemaid's elbow' where the joint gets dislocated. This is the 4th time she has hurt her arm like this and this last time it took 24 hours for her to use it again. Poor baby. She did very well getting her stitches out though and it was quick, easy and painless. (Apparently she had taken one out already because there was only one left in when we got there...

How have K&K been? *sigh* Hard. It's just been that type of week...

I've hardly slept the last two nights. The girls are waking up constantly and I can hardly keep them asleep. On top of this at night they have had screaming fits where I can hardly calm them down. I think the Prevacid is losing it's effectiveness. After some research I learned that the form the Prevacid is in for the girls only has a short shelf life. Therefore... screaming...angry babies=new medication needed. Hopefully Tom can grab a new set for them. In a way it's a little funny... here I had started to think: "Maybe we didn't need the medications? Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with them." or "Maybe the reflux wasn't that bad and I was just tired since they were so young..."

HAH. If anyone want's to experience a TRUE reflux 'attack' come by my house at around 7pm-9pm and watch... you will never want to do it again. They scream, and scream and scream... nothing works, you can feed them ,change them , cuddle them, put them in swings, give them a bath.. nothing... works. And by the end you are so sleep deprived, so frazzled that you can hardly stand it. It's not 'crying' or 'fussing' it is Angry blood curdling screams that just grind on you... for hours.


Well I should try and look over a few more things of homework... or go to bed which sounds a lot better. I hope tonight goes better than the last!

Something I think about a lot:

Being a mother is a job that is more frustrating, more exhausting, more difficult and more rewarding than I ever dreamed it could be...

Abby's 1st Trip to the ER

1 ER visit, 2 stitches, 3 hours of our night and 4 people to hold Abby down... never doing that again? Priceless.

Because it's almost midnight and I got almost zero sleep last night with two sick babies AND there is a good chance I will be getting no sleep once again... I'm just going to give you a brief shakedown of what happened. 

My mom came over for awhile in the early afternoon. The babies were sleeping and Abby and I went outside for awhile. The companionship was nice, it can get a little lonely sometimes at home. She had to pick up my sister from Confirmation classes at 5. I gave Abby some supper, we cleaned up the house a little (she helped vacuum... sorta) Then the babies started crying... I changed them both but just couldn't get them to stop screaming. So I put Abby in the highchair, gave her a popsicle as I fed Kara or tried to feed Kara. Eventually I was having no luck with feeding her and put her in the swing in the nursery. I got Abby down from the highchair and grabbed a screaming Kiley. Abby brought me her little Bible book and I tried to read it to her but she wanted to sit in the recliner and read it.

Now I didn't see it happen but I think that Abby was either trying to put the book onto the desk near the couch or she was trying to climb on top of it. All I saw was her go headfirst down between the desk and the recliner. She was screaming and by the time I got to her there was blood running down her face. I grabbed her quick, put a rag on it (which she took off). There was so much blood I told her that it was time for a bath... so I stripped her down and put her in the tub. Annnnd then she was happy. To me the cut looked pretty deep, I called my mom and then after Tom saw it we decided to take her in. (Tom wanted me to put in that he sprained his toe coming in to see Abby's cut.... I'm not kidding... lol) 

I called the on call nurse and talked to her for a bit. We had just been planning to take her into Acute Care but the nurse said that because it involved Abby's face we needed to take her into the ER. Abby was running around the house laughing (and running into things) The nurse was like "is that her laughing?" Yeah she's pretty tough when it comes to ouchies. She got blood on the recliner so I told Tom to keep her occupied (and from running into things). He drove her around the house in circles while I finished talking to the nurse. 

My mom and my sister came to watch the babies... Abby was very sad that we were leaving them at our house. The ER people were very nice and Abs chatted up the ladies at the front desk as we got checked in. Abby is 25lbs now by the way. The wait was a little long... but it is the ER and I was just glad it didn't take any longer! The CNP (nurse practitioner) said that they would need to do 2 stitches on Abby's bottom lip because the cut went down beyond the fleshy lip bit and could leave a nasty scar. This was what it looked like:

 It was quite the ordeal waiting in that little room with Abby for an hour. She did have a good time writing on the marker board that says : Hello, your nurse is: "name" She left them many "preeties"

They first had us try and put some numbing medication on her lip via gauze... oh she didn't like that one bit. We wrestled her for a bit and gave up. When they came in to do the stitches with one nurse and the doctor I knew they were going to need more people. They swaddled her up tight and tried to hold her down to put more numbing medication to keep it from hurting. She was so strong that nurse Todd had to go find other people to help hold her still. Poor baby I just wanted to scoop her up into my arms and hold her. They had to stop twice because she was gagging she was screaming and trying so hard to move. She kept saying "moommy" And all I could do was tell her that it was going to be ok, that we were going to fix her owwie. Longest 2 stitches ever....

The CNP did a great job, she was quick and fast and gentle with Abby. Much braver than I would have been stitching up a toddler like that! Abby sobbed on my shoulder for awhile and held me good and tight. The saddest part of it all I think is when she very gently and sadly said "please" meaning "Please can we go now?" :( I could have cried. Somehow I managed not to cry and not to pass out. Thankfully! 

But we got Abby home, she played with my sister a bit, gave her a bottle and some motrin and cuddled her into bed. We go back in 5 days to get the stitches taken out. I need to apply sunblock to the area as much as I can to try and keep it from scarring. The hardest part I think will be trying to keep her from picking at the stitches... I'm sure they will drive her a little nuts. 

Ok ... I really need sleep. It's been a loooong day.

"Awww I love you mommy"

Sick babies... I know... it's awful. Kiley and Kara as of 10:30 tonight are running temps around 100-101 degrees. There noses are running and they have a little cough. The temp isn't too bad, but the poor things are miserable. They are making soft squeaky noises to each other. At least for the moment they aren't coughing or trying to breathe. I have a feeling that if they are like this in the morning I'm taking them in to get checked out. There have been too many cases of RSV around my neighborhood for me to feel ok with just leaving it alone. In fact 3 of the neighborhood little ones are sick in the hospital with it! I just hope they sleep some tonight so that I'm not completely miserable too.

I should have known something was up, they were just crying and crying and crying and crying. I have to interrupt this paragraph because Kara fell asleep in my arms and just now woke up to smile at me, coo and all of this with her eyes mostly shut. If she weren't so miserable it would be amazingly adorable. Ok she fell back asleep.... We eventually drove down to my moms after Abby got up from her nap because I couldn't take care of them all. K&K each wanted to be held because they were miserable but Abby wanted to play... Abby looked up at me from her snack and said "Mom? Babies cry..."

I decided we had had enough. Thankfully things went better at my moms with more hands to hold babies and we even got a nice beef stew meal. I brought our dog Feebee to play down there... and forgot in all of the commotion of getting the kids into the car. I dropped off my sister for pep band so that my mom wouldn't need to go. Oh wow was Abs mad when she left!!!

My sister had been playing tea party and kitchen with Abby and wow did she just love that! We even brought a few kitchen things to play with home so that she could do that. Tom played food with her for awhile and gave her a bath tonight. It was sweet of him to do that so that I could tend to babies that would not stop crying. Lately Abby has been taking 3 hour long naps... perhaps she is growing too? All I can say is that it has given me a little more time to recover and recuperate. Abs and I made frozen cookies today, she liked putting them onto the pan until she decided the cookies looked better to eat than to play with.

Granted if I had made the dough I might have let her eat a snatch or too... but there have been recent salmonilla outbreaks from frozen cookie dough. Do I really need more sick kids? Hmmm no. We got the cookies made but didn't even get to eat any before we went to my parent's house. I guess that leaves more cookies for tomorrow!

But the really exciting thing today???

Abby told me she loved me for the first time!!! I mean actual words! I was hugging her this morning as we were walking to the nursery to change her diaper and I said "Awwww I love you Abby." And she hugged me back and said "Awww I love you mommy..." I was sooooo excited! Hearing her tell me that she loved me was one of the coolest things ever. It is a moment I will always cherish and hold on to... especially as those teen years loom maliciously in the distant future....

I feel like there was something else I had wanted to add... but that is all I can think of for now!
Goodnight :o) Hoping I get some sleep....

A Valentine Baptism

Kiley and Kara were baptized this morning. The service was wonderful and I was so happy that the weather at least allowed us to get to the church! I am thankful for all of our family that braved the elements to make their day so special. It was a beautiful service. Our pastor's wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy yesterday and I was so pleased that he (our pastor) took the time to come back and do the baptism for us. It really meant a lot. He has been such a blessing in our lives, our whole church family has.

Tom's mom made pork sandwiches for a meal after the baptism. It was absolutely delicious. My family has been so gracious about helping us put together the meals and cleaning up afterwards. Things would have been a lot more difficult without them! Others brought deserts, vegetables, chips, silverware...etc. Thanks!

For Kiley and Kara's sake (when they get older) I'm going to list here what they received from the baptism as of today. (Please don't feel like you need to give us anything, I just want them to know later what was given)

2 Kid's Bible song cd's, a purple sweatshirt (18m), blue sweatshirt (18m), 2 teddy bears, 2 Tweety bowls, 4 pairs of socks, 2 picture frames and money that will be put into their savings accounts.

At the baptism they showed the video testimony that I had made earlier. I had several people thank me for sharing it with them and several others who said they couldn't help but cry. It was just a special way to show people the journey God led us on... sometimes it's hard to believe that part of the journey is finished. Time flies by so fast.

This is one of the baby hats that Tom's mom made for me! Beautiful! She made another floppy had that is so cute too. I wish I were that talented! Then again... I would probably make millions of them and our house would be taken over by them. I just think they look so cute on my girls!

Abby had a fantastic time playing with her cousin. We'll call him "Chip" in this blog. Tom was calling him that earlier today because he loved Pringles. They played together so well. I wish that his family lived closer, it would be nice to let them see each other more. He is turning 2 in March and we will have to go celebrate his birthday! What fun that will be.... we can't wait. Chip absolutely loved holding the twins. His mom tried to pull one of the girl's away because she was crying and oh was he upset!! It was really cute how much he loved them.

K&K are sleeping now and I'm a little sleep deprived with the crazy night that I had last night with the girls. Please God let them sleep tonight... I'm just so tired.... So for now... I think I'll call it a night.

(Had to include one in their with Abby, poor thing was exhausted by the time we were done today!)

It was the best of days, It was the worst of days... or just another day with twins

Zero signs of the girls going to sleep outside their angry cries. I KNOW this means that they are tired and want to go to sleep but so far they are resisting the urge of shutting their eyes. I'm not sure if they want to be nursed to sleep and are punishing me for not? (I gave the Prevacid a little late and they can't eat for 30 minuets) So... really it's no one's fault but my own.

I'm just tired today... tired tired tired tired. Getting up at 5am after going to bed at 12am, up at 3, 4, and 5 then out of bed at 5:30. (I remembered I had a homework assignment to do that was a lot of work) AND the best part is my professor DELAYED the time it is due until tomorrow... but added more stipulations to the assignment. So now I'm faced with the dilemma of... do I... after working on it from 5:30am-9:00am this morning... do it over again because of a few details that might be missed. Honestly- I hate the class, I hate the professor's inability to be organized and I could care less. The old responsible perfectionist me says "How dare you even think like that?! Do it again!" But I'm tired.

*sigh* I can't even win a battle with myself.

Abby was clingy today. We went to my brother's college track meet this afternoon. It was fun to go see him run in an event like that (Wow they are all sticks-nothing but skin and bone). I thought MAYBE the twins would have a hard time with the commotion and activity and gun shots. Noooo Abby did. She just couldn't handle it. Anytime I was even remotely out of sight she freaked out. There were several points where I had Kiley in the Beco and Abby hanging off of my hip. She refused even to have my sister, dad or mom hold her much. Now if you know Abs... this is very atypical. Even my mom commented on it. Eventually I put her in the Beco (yes it can hold her.) I tried to wear her on my back but she wanted me to hold her. So I put her in front where she could wrap her arms around me. I'm sure I looked like quite the spectacle to these college kids. Two babies nearby and a toddler hanging off of me in a carrier...

We decided to go home.

Abs had a kids meal  from Hardees and drank more punch than ate food despite my best efforts otherwise. I had fed Kiley and Kara before we ate there but they both proceeded to scream most of the way home. I was also trying to keep Abby awake because she was now sleepy. It was one of the longest one hour drives ever. Talk about distractions. Part of me was preparing the speech I would give the cop if I got pulled over for speeding..... yeah probably not the best thing...

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Ok I'll try to post more positively from here on. Tom bought me a new camera for V-Day. Though I have a suspicion he would have gotten it for me even if this Sunday wasn't V-Day. I am so in love with it... it takes amazing pictures and I have so much fun. The price was a little high (though great for this caliber of camera.) There is a special printer I'm hoping Tom can sell so that we can get back a little money. But... it is worth it. I will use it and use it and use it. Look at the beautiful images I was able to capture because of it!

I just picked up Kara to try and nurse her to sleep. She took a drink and now she is staring up at me and just smiling away. It is one of those moments that just steals your heart... and at the same time is immensely frustrating. You goof! Go to sleep! Kiley is fussing next door (in the bassinet) because she is jealous. Jealous? Yes jealous. This happens frequently. One is held, the other wants to be held. If they are both in the nursery they are fine, the moment I take one of them out the other is fussing. Of course this could be the works of the mysterious twin bond. I guess we'll never know...

I love my girls...

Finger Paint Sugar Cookies

This will be a short post as I'm not feeling the greatest and need to get some sleep. Oh how I hope and pray that I'm not getting sick right now! I just don't have the time to be sick! Kara is making soft squeaking noises as she falls asleep in the bassinet while Kiley keeps making faces at me every time I look over at her. I think she is trying to convince me that it isn't time for bed!

We had a play date this morning with my mom's cousin's granddaughter (yes I'm serious.) She is about the same age as Abby and they had quite a bit of fun. Of course there are always sharing issues... but we made it. She was pretty worn out by the time we left as it was after her nap time. She took a 2 hour long nap and though I was able to get a load of laundry done and dishes I wish I could have done more. Housework at times feels daunting to me. I think I need more hands, more energy and more time!

But the important things...

I DID take the time to do things with my girls. Abby finger painted two wonderful masterpieces. She wasn't as fond of painting after she tried to eat the paint. Apparently it wasn't very good... She also had a cut on her finger that hurt when she got paint onto it.

Then we made sugar cookies. We had just gotten done painting and washing up which is why Abby was still shirtless. Paint + Abby= Mess It was quite an adventure but Abby had a lot of fun... yes... the dough was store bought but really... I just don't have that much time right now, and Abs didn't care! She enjoyed the smashing and rolling and cutting ... and eating.

So I guess in the end.... I did the important things today....

Kiley and Kara have been sleeping a lot during the day. You would think that would make things easier. And sometimes it does. It also gives me a little guilt trip every so often that I'm not holding them, playing with them, talking to them... which is what I feel like I should be doing. I guess as a mom of 3 you just have to do the best you can and leave the rest up to God.

Goodnight!

Happy 3 months!

I forgot to add that they turned 3 months yesterday! Oh how time flies...

And oh how beautiful all of my girls are!

Sweet Dreams

Sorry, it's been awhile. Things around here have been busy and I've been tired or haven't felt much like writing. I guess that's just how it is sometimes. The girls are both tired and want to go to sleep. Kiley is being held by Tom and is doing the angry pacifier munch. Kara just got done eating and has a half sleepy/milk drunk look on her face. Hopefully she will keep this feed down.

This morning we went over to the neighbors house. Ahhhh the coffee there was amazing. I need that creamer!!! It has opened my eyes to the draw of an entire pot of coffee... wait... do I really need more caffeine? (Some days.. yes) It was a little difficult getting all three girls bundled and across the street alone, especially when Abby decided that the snow looked quite 'munchable' and that I wasn't nearly as interesting. Soooo I handed the twins off to my neighbor and went back for Abby who in my brief run to the house and discovered I was leaving her and promptly planted herself in a snow drift. I then carried a wet, cold and angry Abby into the house. There were 4 infants around the same age, 1 (abby) and 2 older children there.... oh yes and three adults. The coffee was great, the company was fabulous. Kara threw up twice while we were over there, of course she threw up all over the neighbor's couch and kitchen floor. Ugh...

When we left I first ran the babies over to our house, dropped them off, then came back for Abby. By the time we left the snow equipment were out and scooping up snow. I was too afraid Abby would wander off and get hurt by the big machinery so I made for the extra trip. My cell phone was forgotten in the process and my neighbor came by later to drop it off.

Bedtime thus far is not going well. Kara wants to be up and talking, Kiley is cranky and wants to go to sleep but the pacifier keeps plopping out. My friend came over and we had a great time but I'm just exhausted from everything. Thankfully I was able to get my homework done during Abby's nap. My throat is a little sore, I'm tired, cold and achy... I really really hope I'm not getting strep. My brother had it earlier this weekend :(

Maybe I'm just tired....

Kiley and Kara are both holding their heads up very well now. They get tired and will get cranky after so long but they are really working on it. Kiley is my sleeper. She just loves to sleep during the day (and usually at night) She must be going through a growth spurt or something! Kara is my vocal baby. She loves to have interaction and to talk and smile.

Lately Abby has grown more and more attached to me. My mom, sister and I went shopping the other day and she really had a hard time with the knowledge that I was gone. Tom tried everything but just couldn't calm her down. I really enjoyed shopping though and getting out. We had a great time at Hobby Lobby. Kara was a little fussy but did ok. At one point I put her in a basket that was on a shelf and she just sat there, sucking on her pacifier as happy as can be. I took her out of the basket and she started crying again! I found some great deals for my photo taking. I love it. I need a great big tub to store everything in it I think!

We got some finger paints. I'm really hoping that we'll have some time this week to do that. I think Abby will have a great time with that. We made cookies today... we ate far too many of them (mmm they were good though!)

Well I'm tired and the girls are finally falling asleep. Time for me to run. Hopefully they will have a good night. (We've had off and on experiences with this lately) I don't mind if they end up in bed with me as long as they sleep and I sleep! Night :)

Rice Krispees & Snow

Wow Abby is still napping! We are working on 3 possible hours of nap time. I should go wake her up soon but I figured she was probably worn out and needed the longer nap. So we'll see :)

Yesterday was a hard day. I'm not sure if it was the weather or if the girls weren't feeling very good but wow they were all crazy. The day did feel longer because Tom had a work meeting that lasted until 9:30 so he wasn't home until 10. Thankfully there aren't many days like this. I was emotionally and physically drained by the time I fell into bed. Then... I remembered that I had homework. (ugh)

BUT! The girls are sleeping VERY well now! Never never never did I have this experience with Abby. They are literally sleeping for 6-7 hour spans at a time. Praise God! Now, granted usually at least one of them ends up in bed with me around 5-6am but that is still pretty good!  Because this is the 3rd night that they have had very good nights (crosses fingers) and so I'm dropping the MSPI diet. I just don't think it's worth doing! If they start to have issues I will start over again but for now I don't feel the need to starve myself. Hopefully this will continue. When I run all day with the three girls it really helps to have a good night!

Abby and I did a few fun things yesterday. We went outside with Feebee and played in the backyard. Oh Abby and her snow. She loves to eat it. We played for about 30 minuets but it started to rain and we were soaked. I coaxed her back inside with the promise of cookies and juice. :o) We also made Rice Krispies yesterday... I'm not sure if they actually turned out because the Krispies were a little old... but she sure had fun.

Well Kiley is stirring and I should get Abby up before it is too late. We might drive down to my mom's house if I hear back from her. It would be nice to get out a little and the roads aren't as bad as they were saying they might be. Silly weathermen.

SeVeN is the number

Tom is off changing Kiley's diaper... but he'll want the computer back soon so I'll make this quick.

Our morning started off with Tom changing Abby's diaper. I'm not sure of the exact turn of events, all I know is that they were in the bathroom, Abby came out naked, pee'd on the floor, and went back INTO the bathroom to sit on her potty chair. She refused to let Tom put her diaper on for awhile.

I cleaned up one bodily mess.

Naptime. Kara, Kiley and Tom are sleeping in the living room. I hear Abby crying off and on so after 45 minuets I decide to check on her. (I'm wearing Kiley in my Beco) so as we open the door just a crack I catch a wiff of... poo. Ugh... seriously. I saw the diaper in the corner of the crib. Poor Abby woke up with big tears streaming down her face saying "Mooommy" So I called up to Tom who promptly pulled Abby from the crib and gave her a warm bath. I of course ...

cleaned up bodily mess number TWO.

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But onto the fun news. Kiley slept SEVEN hours straight from 11:30 pm- 6:30am. Kara had me up every two hours so I had plenty of opportunities to check Kiley and make sure she was still breathing. Because as if there aren't enough worries about SIDS, when your baby goes from waking up every 2 hours to not waking up for seven... you worry. So, she slept for seven hours straight. I certainly did not.

I'm wondering if....

• Kara might have MSPI worse then Kiley which gives her tummy aches
• The Prevacid might be starting to work for Kiley (it's been a week
• If I will get a night where they both sleep that long in one shot ever again?

It's hard to know....

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Abby's corner: (As if she wasn't having enough fun today already) The other day when I had run out of entertainment ideas for Abby, I took a small bowl and filled it with freshly fallen snow. She sat and ate it for 15 minuets. Then splashed in the rest of it. She loves her snow.

I've also discovered that different sized cups make for fantastic toys.... as long as there is water involved. Again, I placed her in her highchair with several different cups, a spoon and one cup filled with water. She loved it and I loved the break from craziness.

We are working on colors right now. She can say orange but yellow seems to escape her. Right now she enjoys letters and numbers more than anything. The other day she knew that when we spell her name y came after the second b. She makes us write it for her a lot.

Kiley's corner: 
Kiley rolled over the other day. Well... sort of. She was laying on her tummy and kept flipping over onto her back like a little turtle, waving her arms and legs in the air. While she isn't as apt to smile as quickly as Kara she will give you plenty of sweet smiles when she is in the mood.

Kara's corner:
Lately whenever Kara gets excited she draws her knees up to her body and flings out her legs. There are so many times that I look at her and I see glimpses of Abby when she was a baby. She loves to smile and coo at us, especially as we put her to bed. I hope that she will sleep better tonight... or maybe she just knows that if she wakes me up enough she'll end up snuggling with mom and dad. :o)

(P.S.... I'm naughty and cheated a little on my diet. I ate a candy bar... I just couldn't resist the call of the Milky Way... I promise I'll be better tomorrow)