Acute Care

I was up several times in the night with Abby last night, her screaming and crying and pleading with me to hold her hand and sleep with her or get some more water. At one point she even tried to convince me that her diaper was poopy so that I would take her out of the crib. I sat with her for an hour and held her hand before I was so tired I couldn't do it anymore.

She woke up again later that night screaming so I brought her some more pain meds and sat with her and sat with her. I had been up awhile with Kara already and had just gotten her to sleep when Abby woke up. It's really hard to leave your screaming child when you know they don't feel good and they want you. I tried going upstairs and leaving her but it wasn't long and I was back downstairs. At that point I decided if she wanted me to sleep with her that was what we would do or I would never get any sleep. So we slept in the guest bed in the basement. She actually fell asleep fairly fast in my arms....

I took her into Acute Care this afternoon and we spent an hour and a half waiting. It was difficult but she did her best. It's hard to sometimes feel those stares of other parents or people when you can tell they are wondering why you are there and that my child certainly doesn't 'act' sick. But what do they expect a 2 year old to do for that amount of time... even adults go crazy at that point.

She did have a double ear infection and the doctor gave her antibiotic eye drops too because her eyes are mattered and irritated. I really hope that it helps her. I ache that she is feeling sick so often. It was cute though that at one point while we were waiting she told another kid that "That's my mommy, don't you touch her." Makes you feel special that she is a little protective of me too :o)

We got 2 Dora DVD's to use on our car trips and I even found a clearanced Dora sun hat. She was so proud of that hat that she told everyone we passed in Walmart that "I love Dora."

But as we were driving home I heard the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. And it's beautiful... and it brought tears to my eyes because it echoes this feeling in my heart that as a parent I'm struggling so hard to give them the best of me (Motherhood... a perfectionist's nightmare lol) But this chorus struck something in me...

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


It really is a beautiful song and I encourage you to listen to it. Lead Me I hope it touches you as it touched me.