Q-wik Update

I took Kiley and Kara into the ENT today. When I called them to ask about the mattery things around their eyes and the snotty noses + frequent waking at night they told me they wanted to see them. So I drove down quick after class, picked them up and headed in.

My dr was off but we saw another great guy and he said that there was still fluid back behind the ear drums that needed to drain. He gave me another type of drop that I need to get into their ears 2x daily and... I found out the tubes are waterproof ... aka drop proof. So I need to insert the drops a certain way to get them in. Yay more drops!

His thoughts on the night wakings makes sense to me too. He told me that the level of fluid in their ears prior to the tubes was bordering zero hearing *YIKES!* that there was a chance they weren't hearing a thing. So... if you think about it, they might have been sleeping through their sister's little movements not because they were accustomed to their sister... but because they couldn't hear a thing! So it might take awhile for them to adjust to the fact that they can hear things again.

And I doubt it helps that they are also teething.

At the zoo

Monday ... you guessed it. We went to the zoo. I decided after mid-afternoon naps that we were all going to go out and do something fun with my last unofficial day of summer before I started school. But was I crazy taking all three girls alone? To the zoo?

We had pretty much free reign of the zoo and it was fantastic. Abby was able to run around and look at whatever animals she wanted without me needing to worry that someone would snatch her. As long as I could see her she was free.

There was a beautiful baby giraffe and I think that she was as enamored with it as I was. Look at how cute it is! (sorry it's really small in the picture... but that little stick thing is a giraffe) 

She enjoyed climbing the fences to look at the animals. The turtle's over..... there!

She loved the baby goats and they loved her shirt!

It was a beautiful day and the girls all did so well. Abby listened and loved looking at all of the animals. It was funny I tried to get some water from a vending machine but they were all out. So I got an orange soda. Abby really liked it but I'd only let her have a little at a time. So SHE decided she was getting her own and kept pushing all of the buttons trying to figure it out. Now every time she sees a vending machine she tries to get a pop out :o)

Poor Kiley and Kara spent most of the time in the stroller drinking their bottles. They liked watching Abby run all over though. This is how Abby rides on the front of the stroller when we go places. It works really well actually! Well except for that one time... but otherwise great!

She loves ducks... this was her favorite place after the baby goats. At least the ducks don't eat her clothes...

School Ramblings

My last day of summer vacation, and then it is off to my last last last year of school... did I mention it is my last? My last first day, last day of orientation... I'm ready! I'm ready to put that chapter of my life behind me and struggle with trying to comprehend how I will manage to get through this semester with 3 kids 2 and under... all of whom rely on me in a very big way. I'm also just a little sad that the routine will change, that I won't be home with them as much... and I'm also a little afraid that they won't want me as much anymore...

Isn't that strange? That I worry they won't want me and will want my mom more? Hundreds of thousands of kids go to daycare everyday why should my girls be any different?

Because I struggled with that already once before. With Abby... I knew and felt and sensed that she wasn't attached to me around 10 months-15 months. (around the time the hair pulling got bad) She didn't come to me when she was hurt (and that hurt a lot) and just sorta did her own thing. She never wanted 'mommy.' No matter how I tried I felt like something wasn't right and I blamed myself for being gone with school.... I cried a lot about that. And I didn't really tell anyone either because I was ashamed.

 And now look at how much progress we have made, she wants me to hold her and kiss her owies and hold her hand at night when she is scared. She likes playing baseball with me and building sandcastles, coloring, or making muffins. I feel special to her and loved and like HER mom... ("don't you touch her" lol) And even if it is irrational and crazy and I know in my head that there were other issues going on that prevented her from 'attaching' to me those months... my heart is shaking in it's boots that once I get back to school it will start all over again. I'm afraid that if she's away from me too long she'll forget about me.

But she'll be ok... I'll be ok... We'll be ok.

Acute Care

I was up several times in the night with Abby last night, her screaming and crying and pleading with me to hold her hand and sleep with her or get some more water. At one point she even tried to convince me that her diaper was poopy so that I would take her out of the crib. I sat with her for an hour and held her hand before I was so tired I couldn't do it anymore.

She woke up again later that night screaming so I brought her some more pain meds and sat with her and sat with her. I had been up awhile with Kara already and had just gotten her to sleep when Abby woke up. It's really hard to leave your screaming child when you know they don't feel good and they want you. I tried going upstairs and leaving her but it wasn't long and I was back downstairs. At that point I decided if she wanted me to sleep with her that was what we would do or I would never get any sleep. So we slept in the guest bed in the basement. She actually fell asleep fairly fast in my arms....

I took her into Acute Care this afternoon and we spent an hour and a half waiting. It was difficult but she did her best. It's hard to sometimes feel those stares of other parents or people when you can tell they are wondering why you are there and that my child certainly doesn't 'act' sick. But what do they expect a 2 year old to do for that amount of time... even adults go crazy at that point.

She did have a double ear infection and the doctor gave her antibiotic eye drops too because her eyes are mattered and irritated. I really hope that it helps her. I ache that she is feeling sick so often. It was cute though that at one point while we were waiting she told another kid that "That's my mommy, don't you touch her." Makes you feel special that she is a little protective of me too :o)

We got 2 Dora DVD's to use on our car trips and I even found a clearanced Dora sun hat. She was so proud of that hat that she told everyone we passed in Walmart that "I love Dora."

But as we were driving home I heard the song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real. And it's beautiful... and it brought tears to my eyes because it echoes this feeling in my heart that as a parent I'm struggling so hard to give them the best of me (Motherhood... a perfectionist's nightmare lol) But this chorus struck something in me...

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


It really is a beautiful song and I encourage you to listen to it. Lead Me I hope it touches you as it touched me. 

For some pictures

Sometimes you are a creative mom. And sometimes you pull out a tub. Usually the tub wins by a landslide. These two had so much fun playing together. It must be amazing to go through life with someone like that with you. 

And can you believe these two are 9 months old already?! Wow where does the time fly (Kiley is on the right, Kara on the left in case you were wondering) I wish they enjoyed more of the backyard than just the rocks... 

Not going to lie... I love the photos of them in the car. Abby made sure they had their seatbelts on. It was really cute. (the car doesn't have seat belts so she pretended to buckle them in)

Kiley was very enthusiastic about this whole driving thing... Kara was less inclined. Watch out world here she comes!

Ok... enough of the cute car pictures and onto something else! 

Abby loves to dress up and pretend she is a princess or a super hero. I love both actually. For awhile she was carrying Abby Cadabby's wand and 'poofing' people with it. She put all of this on by herself. She has gotten quite talented about putting on outfits. I think more dress up clothes is in her future. Halloween will be a lot of fun this year :o) 

She might have another ear infection. I probably will try to take her into Acute Care tomorrow. She cried and cried and cried tonight saying her ear hurt and that she needed a bandaid. She also tried putting baby creme into her ear to make it feel better. Not a good sign. I wish we could help her with these things. Poor hun. She has been very busy around here with all of the craziness.

It's been awhile but there was one night she dressed daddy up in a whole bunch of stickers. He was very pretty :) (look how happy she looks)

Well that is enough pictures for one post and it is after midnight here (time for bed!)

Alls well

Surgery went well, the prep for it was very very very difficult. Getting two babies ready for surgery, no matter how minor the surgery... is a lot of work. I wasn't feeling very good  and was really struggling. The nurses were great and helped me by walking Kara up and down the halls. They were both very upset that I wouldn't feed them. The babies... not the nurses lol

Then when I heard Kiley crying because she had woken up from surgery they told me i had to wait in the room because they were holding Kiley and I needed to talk to the doctor. So here I am all worried something had happened and she wasn't doing very well. Why else won't you let the mom see her crying baby? I might have been less nervous but the nurse that had been helping me out was confused too. So that didn't make me feel great that things weren't going as planned for them either.

I'm still not sure why they told me that but it wasn't too long and they finally gave her to me. I felt a little bad that I practically snatched her away from the nurse but I wanted to feed her and comfort her. It's still hard to watch them go back into a room without you to go to sleep. And at that point I was exhausted.

It was a looong morning but I'm thankful for the staff there because they did do their best to make sure that not only my girls were taken care of but that I was doing ok too. The doctor did say that their ears were worse than she thought and so she wants to see them herself for the post-op appointment instead of a nurse visit. They've been bleeding and the gunk has been flowing!

Tom's mom came up last night to help watch Abby and has been helping me around the house with things which is nice :o) I even got a much needed nap when I got home and got the babies to sleep. Since then I've been feeling quite a bit better so I'm hoping that I'll be able to fight off this bug that I seem to have gotten too.

Back to work!

Surgery tomorrow already!

I'm waiting for the surgery lady to call me back... so I thought I would just write a quick update while I waiting.

We spent 2 hours in the ENT office this morning. Long time for me alone with all three girls! Abby actually did pretty well for the most part. At one point while we were waiting in the waiting room she was running from one wall to the other. "I'm running a race mom!" At least she wasn't screaming or being 'naughty'... it was a little funny too.

The ENT was fabulous. That lady knows her stuff! She had this specific technique to look in their ears and was so good with all of them. Even when Abby was dragging the toys all over the room or jumping on the bench. Very down to earth awesome physician. Oh and she knows ears too. Kiley and Kara I guess have really bad ears bilaterally (both ears). She said their ear drums were retracted there was so much fluid back there and scarring from the infections. At one point she told me that if they didn't get tubes they would have constant infections until next SPRING! There is just so much fluid behind the ear drums it's not getting out and just keeps getting infected over and over and over and over again. (Hence the multiple antibiotics)... oh and did I mention they BOTH had them in BOTH ears... hmmm so much for Kiley not having an ear infection. And Kara has been running a temp all day poor baby. I knew she was pulling on those ears good...

She even checked my ears... and said that she could see the subtle signs of damage from ear infections I had as a kid. Funny... I don't remember them, maybe that is a good thing! Maybe thats why I was so cranky :P

Now Abby... here's the real surprise.

REFLUX! They said it's incredibly rare to have a child who had zero ear infections in the first year of life to start having so many now. They also noticed she is a mouth breather. And those of you who noticed that she tends to 'drool' a lot.... reflux is also to blame. Her throat and tonsils were really irritated. So can you believe it causes ear infections too? Which also causes her nose to run and run and run and run... so miss Abby has learned to breathe out of her mouth instead. Which means her mouth is open a whole lot more and that she just ends up drooling especially when she's concentrating. So we are starting her on Reflux meds and going back for a follow up in 6 months or so to check things out. I thought she had outgrown it... guess I didn't know...

So surgery, we get there at 6:30am and I get to take both of them in to get ready. It might be interesting.... they are all napping now and I wish I could lay down! I sure haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately.

ENT tomorrow!

Kiley Kara and Abby have an appointment with the ENT tomorrow morning. Thankfully I was able to get them in a little sooner than Friday. The ear infections must end! At this point I really don't know who has them and who doesn't. All I can say is that all three have green snotty noses, Abby and Kiley are coughing and Kara and Kiley aren't sleeping. But we'll see. Maybe they can at least give me a little advice.

Tom is sick tonight so I'm ready for a healthy house again.

Kara is really trying to walk on her own and can take steps holding on with one hand. Every moment she gets she is trying to do it on her own. I'm trying to convince her that standing on her own might be a good first step. She did manage to stand for a few moments until she toppled forward. Won't be long!

Kiley... could care less. She enjoys cruising along the floor at breakneck speed. She stands along items and walks along them but isn't as daring as Kara is.

I've also noticed that Kara enjoys cruising things along the floor. As in she will take an object in her hand and 'drive' it along the floor. Whether it's a spatula, plastic rolling pin, plastic cow, car... even things that can't drive she tries to push. It's pretty cute.

Both girls are munching well and love to self feed. I found some great snacks for them to eat while I tend to Abby or other house needs. Of course that really only works with Kara because Kiley loves to escape the highchair. In fact she will escape even with a 'seatbelt'... so I have to be extra vigilante with her.

Abby is as busy as ever. She has a touch of the tummy bug too so that never helps. We played outside for awhile today when K&K were napping. She really liked playing on the swings and bars with me. She loves getting under dogs and trying to touch the clouds with her toes. Of course "clouds are yucky, don't eat the clouds mommy." Ok Abby... I won't eat the clouds :o)

All three of us took an hour long walk around town today, we played in the park too near the school. Abby loved the bouncy horse. Well it's time for some sleep before my next baby shift begins... I have some pictures and videos I would to post but need to fix my computer so I can upload them. Maybe eventually...

Back to School

Back to school and so far... so good.

I spent the last two days in an Addiction Treatment Center and wow was it eye opening... and also exhausting. I have a lot of respect for the people who do that work every day. They do some pretty amazing things.

But of course it means I've been away from my girls these last two days more than what was normal and it's been a little bittersweet in that I miss them terribly but love that feeling when you walk in the door and they are absolutely beyond excited to see you. Abby just wanted me to hold her and hold her and hold her today and she played with my hair for awhile, we went for a walk and played in the backyard with Kiley and Kara.

Kiley has a fascination with the pool which makes watching Abby outside while she is swimming really tough. I need a fence within my fence! Kara tends to be more interested in eating the grass. And there is a lot of grass in my backyard....

We found a frog in the grass and Abby loved it. Thankfully it was a large frog and could really jump which kept it out of Abby's loving grasp (aka super tight death grip) It was a beautiful cooler day and we enjoyed playing outside as much as we could.

I always seem to miss the weekends but we had a good time going down to celebrate with Tom's parent's church. While we didn't get to see Grandma and Grandpa as much as we would have liked it was still a good time. The services got a little long at one point and Abby was beyond tired so she couldn't handle it as well. Oh and side note. All three girls slept in the same room with me over the weekend! And it worked! It was so cute.... once when Kara woke up and woke up Abby (I was super tired and didn't wake up as fast to get her)... Abby said "Be quiet baby, Abby's trying to sleep."

I couldn't help but laugh because those were my thoughts exactly!! And when it comes to not sleeping... ugh they haven't been sleeping again! Does this mean ear infections again? I don't know for sure but I'm super suspicious. And I've been unbelievably good at getting those meds into them on time every day every dose. And still... we can't kick them. It's been 2 months of this with Abby and just over a month with K&K. Abby is on her third type of antibiotic now and K&K their second. They aren't working...

Someone mentioned tubes and oh my can you imagine if I need to have all three girls get tubes placed in their ears? Three surgeries? What do you even do? Would I have them all done the same day and be done with it? Rip it off like a bandaid? Or... Do I spread it out so that I can have more special cuddle time and attention from mom... They might not even suggest tubes, they might not even try to get me in tomorrow but I'm just trying to be prepared so I don't get sideswiped by this and make a hasty decision. Hmmm what to do... I just want these ear infections to be done. They are seriously sick ... all ... the time. And it's August. What will we do when it's December, January, February? The months where ear infections are more common.

I guess we'll find out. Perhaps I shouldn't even worry about it until I take them in tomorrow or Thursday... and see if they even still have them. Kara's nose is running like crazy and they are so so so so very cranky at night. They have been waking up screaming at night again... last night I was up with them 4-5 times each. I'm too tired for that anymore! Plus they are pulling on their ears and falling over a lot... so thats why I suspect it... but I'm tired and so...

 I'm going to bed!

*updated* Plenty of Sun... and rain

This will be a really fast post because Tom ran down my computer's battery and it is flashing angrily at me. I'll try to post coordinating photos when I have more battery in the morning.... (ok pictures are up! with some new stuff too)

We spent the morning at the local fair... oh it was fun but HOT HOT HOT. I think the temp was 94 when we left at one o'clock? The girls were miserable by then and I knew it was time to go. Abby loved the baby ducks and the kittens. She told me that she wanted the black one... we had to move on so I didn't give in....She also got her face painted. I think she would have rather painted the lady's face...

My mom, sister and brother were all there too along with an aunt and uncle/cousins so we were quite a group! Though I had plenty of help with the girls which was great. In the Expo building they had a booth with these 'pillow pets' Abby was so excited when she saw me (she had been walking with my sister...) that she took my hand and said... "come here mommy! Look!" She kept trying to walk off with them. I still feel a little bad i didn't just get one... but seriously how many stuffed animals that girl has... we'll see. I may give in yet...

The girls all napped on the way back in the cool van and I managed to get all three in the house without waking them up (yay me!) It was really nice to take a cool shower and not have screaming kids at the door... or trying to get in with me.

Abby has a new found love in playing with my hair. She probably did for like 30 minuets or so today just brushing and brushing and pretending to put preeties in. At one point she went into the bathroom and was digging around. I kept asking her what she was looking for and finally I got it. "Mommy I need a cut to cut the hair..." She was looking for a scissors to cut my hair. I had to explain to her that only mommy cut's hair (and normally i only cut Feebee's hair at that...)

*note to self: Keep all scissors out of reach*

Kiley and Kara shut themselves in the nursery today. When I came to get them they were both playing with the carseats. I wished they liked sitting in them as much as they like crawling into them. They are starting to play together better and better. Which is probably trouble for both of us. 

Kiley crawled out of the highchair... yes seriously. I went to get clothes for both of them while they were eating their snacks and when I got back she had her feet on the tray and was holding onto the back of the highchair. The little wiggle worm!!! Good thing I didn't take long to find clothes for them!

We attempted to go swimming with my brothers and sister tonight. But with our luck the one pool was closed early for this week only and by the time we drove to another town their pools were closing in 30 minuets. Abby was sad but we got ice cream and took a bath when we got home to try and make up for it a little. That girl would live in the water... I hope we get a chance to go play again sometime soon.